Adopted: New Blog by My Bro-In-Law - Jason Johnson

My brother-in-law and my sister, Jason and Janelle Johnson, adopted four kids (siblings) in March from Minneapolis foster care and are in the process of adopting little Amos - who is in their care. All together, they have six kids ages six and under!

Jason just started a new blog called "Adopted."

Here are his first three posts which are worth reading. The third post gives some startling statistics on foster care in MN and the kids that need to be adopted.

(1,572 kids in MN foster care (22.5%) are waiting to be adopted)

• Patience
• Why we adopted
• Statistics

He Killed His Son for Me

“I killed my Son for you.”

That is all. I hear nothing else.

That is all I need to hear.

Tears begin to well up in my eyes. Tears that have not been shed since Piper was diagnosed. Healing tears for my parched soul.

I cannot imagine losing one of my children. Read Bob Kauflin's post at Worship Matters about a family's "drabble" (see what that means - fictionally story) as they wrestle with God over the reality of their 14 year old who is dying of cancer. Here it is - "Drabble from the Depths."

Here is the song that is referred which is written by Bob Kauflin.

Out of the Depths - Sovereign Grace Music

Help During a Miscarriage

During the winter, my sister had a miscarriage. She is young woman who loves the Lord and continues to suffer from the pain of this great loss. She is seeking to honor the Lord and grow in grace through this pain.

She sent me this very helpful article by Sue Nicewander and Jodi Jewell called Walking Through the Dark Valley of Miscarriage. My sister, April, said it has been a big help to her.

Almost everyone knows someone close who has miscarried. It is worth your read.

Here are some highlights of advice the article gives:
Walking Through the Dark Valley with Someone Who Has Had a Miscarriage

The following suggestions and principles may be used by believers in any setting to enhance biblical discipleship with someone who has experienced a miscarriage.

1. Listen Compassionately
Patiently listen without judging. Compassionate listening and careful questions are especially important with a mother who believes her pain has been dismissed as irrelevant or unimportant. Ruth comments, “I got the most help when people came beside me and grieved with me. When Christ said to mourn with those that mourn and rejoice with those that rejoice, He was right. It is very healing.”

2. Speak Carefully
Be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit to know when to speak and when to be quiet. Don’t say something just to make yourself feel useful or helpful. And don’t try to fix the situation by rationalizing the experience, trying to reason away the pain, explaining the unexplainable or offering solutions for the loss.

Avoid pat answers such as “It is God’s way of handling deformities,” “God loved your baby so much that He wanted the baby with Him in heaven,” “Well, at least you have your other child(ren),” “I know how you feel,” “God planned it this way,” “It wasn’t really a baby,” or “You can try again.” Such comments are not only insensitive, but they deny the inscrutable transcendence of our God who often does not choose to supply answers.

And please don’t say “I’m praying for you” unless you’re actually going to pray. Jodi said she became tired of hearing those words because she didn’t believe them. “I’ll pray for you” is a common Christian lie. Prove you are praying by immediately stopping to pray with the parents. Then let them know that you will continue to pray for them and how you are approaching God on their behalf. Periodically ask if they have further needs for which you may pray. Then pray.

3. Be Patient
Scripture allows for time to mourn (Eccl. 3:1,4,7). Give parents the time and pace they need to grieve. “Let the parent cry with you,” Jodi advises. “This is probably the most important thing you can do.” Rather than apologizing for your ineptitude when the mother’s tears flow, express your compassion at her suffering. Be careful to express sorrow rather than disapproval. Ruth was criticized for weeping, but she wisely answered from Psalm 56: “God knows of our tears. He even has a bottle to collect them. It is okay for me to grieve. I don’t have to pretend that everything is okay. I just lost my baby.”

4. Share the Word of God
Let the parents ask tough questions without condemning them. Guide them to base their questions on the true character of God, then search Scripture together for the answers. Scripture was important to everyone we interviewed, especially passages concerning God’s unfailing love and sovereignty. Here are many of the passages they mentioned to be a help: Ps. 25:16-18a Ps. 27:4-5 & 6b Ps. 28:7 Ps. 34:18 Psalm 100:5 Isa. 40:11 James 4:7 Job 41-43 Jer. 1:4-5 Rom. 8:18-27; 35-39 Hebrews 4:15-16 1 Peter 2:18-21

5. Offer Comfort
Give cards and words of love, but not too many words. Be sensitive without ignoring the pain. Matt affirms that “It was best not to say too much. Mostly I just wanted to know that people cared about us and were praying for us.” Be careful not to stay too long or to talk too much, even when offering Scripture. Suggest spiritual music and God-focused journaling…

6. Get More Help
Informal counseling offered by friends can be very effective when the counsel is biblical. Enlist other friends to take time to sit with the grieving parents, to be available at critical junctures, to listen without feeling compelled to talk, and to be prepared to offer timely help from Scripture.

Arrange for practical help, such as child care, laundry, meals, shopping, rides, and so forth. Offer specific help, not “Call if you need anything.” Encourage biblical counsel from a mature Christian who is familiar and comfortable. “I felt a paradox of desperately wanting counsel, but also feeling so vulnerable that I didn’t feel I could trust anyone new to give me the real truth,” says Anita.


ADVICE TO COUNSELORS

1. Identify the parents’ yearnings and questions.
2. Help them express grief.
3. Identify with their suffering. Point to God as our comforter.
4. Be aware of self-pity and wallowing in anger, fear, or despair.
5. Encourage them to build their relationship with God.
6. Emphasize hope through worship.
7. Work to strengthen the marriage.
8. Show how they can minister to others who have suffered miscarriage.

Read the entire article here.

Don't Waste Your Pain

The following is a modified version of John Piper’s introduction and main points of “Don’t Waste Your Cancer.” Piper wrote this after being diagnosed with prostate cancer and on the eve of his surgery. The Bible consistently points us to the reality that God uses and even brings sickness and trial (pain) to make us more like Jesus (sanctification). For His children He works all things together for their good (Rom. 8:28). Piper attempts to challenge us that, while it is appropriate to pray for healing or deliverance, it is quite possible to waste so much of what God graciously has in store for us in the midst of our pain. I have shaped the ten points that he made to a more general application – from cancer to pain of all sorts. After each point, I have included the original point that applies specifically to cancer. I have also included some Scripture that relates to each point. You can read “Don’t Waste Your Cancer” here.

---

I write this to those who are facing a trial or crisis in their life—big or small; physical, spiritual, relational or emotional. I believe in God’s power to deliver from pain—by miracle and by medicine. I believe it is right and good to pray for both kinds of deliverance. Trials of all kinds are not wasted when God miraculous or providentially takes it away and delivers a person from affliction (Psalm 34). He gets the glory and that is why trials of all kind exist. So not to pray for deliverance may waste your pain. But deliverance or healing is not God’s plan for everyone. And there are many other ways to waste your pain. I am praying for myself and for you that we will not waste our pain.

1. You will waste your pain if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.
Romans 8:28; Job 1:21-22; 42:11 2 Cor. 12:7-10
You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.

2. You will waste your pain if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.
Romans 5:1-5; 8:1; 8:18-39; Psalm 84:11; James 1:2-5, 1 Peter 1:3-9
You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.

3. You will waste your pain if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.
Psalm 20:7; 2 Cor. 1:9; 2 Chron. 16
You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.

4. You will waste your pain if you refuse to think about death.
Eccl. 7:2; Psalm 90:12
You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.

5. You will waste your pain if you think that “overcoming” the trial means deliverance from the painful circumstances rather than cherishing Christ.
Philippians 3:8; 1:21; 2 Cor. 12:7-10; Col. 1:24
You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.

6. You will waste your pain if you spend too much time reading about your pain and not enough time reading about the Answer to All Problems—God.
Hosea 6:3; Daniel 11:32; Psalm 1; Psalm 34:5
You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about cancer and not enough time reading about God.

7. You will waste your pain if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.
Phil. 2:26-27; 1:21-26; Psalm 34
You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.

8. You will waste your pain if you grieve as those who have no hope.
1 Thess. 4:13; 2 Cor. 5:8; 2 Cor. 1:7; Romans 8:18
You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.

9. You will waste your pain if you treat sin as casually as before.
Psalm 119:67; 71; 1 Peter 4:1-2
You will waste your cancer if you treat sin as casually as before.

10. You will waste your pain if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.
Luke 21:12-23; 1 Cor. 10:31; Phil. 4:22; Romans 4:18-20
You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.

Sermon -- Truly Seeing Jesus

God used Pastor Dave in a powerful way last Sunday morning (April 5). Dave was scheduled to preach that morning and no one (but God) could plan what would happen Saturday night.

Dave's neighbors had a tragedy hit their home when their 7 week old baby girl (Sophia) died in the home that night. Dave went over to comfort and help. Continue to pray for the parents. May God use the VanAckers and many in the church body to reach out with the comforting love and compassion of Jesus. The funeral is Saturday and we are hosting a meal in the afternoon at the church building.

Here is Dave's sermon. (Right click on "listen" and save to download the sermon)

4.5.09

The Easterly Effect of Encountering Jesus

Matthew 16:13-23

Read

Listen

Why God Doesn't Always Heal?

Here is a good article by Sam Storms entitled -- "Why God Doesn't Always Heal?"

In the article Storms gives seven reasons:

In the final analysis, virtually everything about healing remains a mystery. I don't mind saying that I'm weary of those who claim to reduce healing to a formula or a manageable cause and effect phenomenon in which we can know with certainty why some are healed and why others are not. I've labored in this meditation to avoid falling into that trap. That said, I would like to suggest that the reason why many are not healed may possibly be answered in any one of seven ways.

1. A lack of faith. (see the article for his explanations)
2. The presence of sin.
3. Some don't want to be healed.
4. They don't ask.
5. Demonic oppression has not been dealt with.
6. The mystery of God's providence.

7. Often times there are dimensions of spiritual growth and moral development and increase in the knowledge of God in us that he desires MORE than our physical health, experiences that in his wisdom God has determined can only be attained by means or in the midst of or in response to less than perfect physical health. In other words, healing the sick is a good thing (and we should never cease to pray for it), but often there is a better thing that can only be attained by means of physical weakness. More important to God than our physical health is our spiritual holiness.

Letter of Thanks from Chris Starr

Last week I posted something about my friend, pastor Chris Starr, who lost his daughter by his mistake of leaving her in the van on a hot Sunday afternoon (read here).

Many of you have been praying for Chris and have sent him cards, emails, flowers, and various expressions of love and support.

You can email him at pastorchris@mtziononline.org and here is a letter of thanks that he has recently sent out:

Dear Family & Friends,

We want to thank you so much for your notes of comfort, words of encouragement, and most importantly your prayers. We have never faced grief and sorrow to this degree in our lives. Through the shock, grief, and pain, we feel as though are hearts have been ripped out of our chests. We loved Cassie with all our hearts. Certainly, our hearts are completely broken.

The love and support from friends and family, and church, and those we don’t even know has been overwhelming. We don’t know how to say thank you to so many people and wish we could write everyone individually. We have sensed the thousands of prayers that have gone up on our behalf and God’s grace has been sufficient to help us through each day. Each card, email, phone call, visit, flower, and words of love have helped to comfort us. Thank you so much for the love and concern you have showed to our family.

Our God has been our anchor in this storm. Please don’t stop praying for us as I know that grieving is not once and done, but a process. Our heart’s desire is to glorify our God and that we might better be able to help others through their personal tragedies. I know God will teach us so much through this trial. A couple of verses that have been anchors for us to hold onto during this time include:

Psalms 138:3
³ In the day when I cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul.

Psalms 71:3
³ Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.

Lessons from a Grieving Mother - Molly Piper

Molly Piper is a friend from my seminary days (at Bethlehem). She is the daughter-in-law of John Piper and she writes this article about the grief she has and still experiences from the lost of her daughter through "stillbirth." I think it is helpful to read because it gives some helpful advice in how to help comfort those who are suffering from a great loss:

Molly writes:

A year ago I was seven months pregnant with our second child. We found out at our 18-week ultrasound, much to my delight, that this one was a girl. As the last months of pregnancy ambled on, we got more and more excited. We had done the boy thing already; we were ready for a daughter.

Everything was normal as the end of pregnancy drew near. There were no signs of a problem when I visited the doctor that final week. However, at 39 weeks and 4 days, I couldn't shake the feeling, “I haven't been feeling this baby move as much.”

We went to the hospital, not really alarmed, but concerned. When they couldn't find her heartbeat, mine beat fast enough and furiously enough for both of us, as though it were trying to live for her. Ultrasounds confirmed that our child had died.

We delivered her that day—September 22, 2007—Felicity Margaret Piper. She weighed 9 pounds, 5 ounces and was perfectly formed, though her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck.

I had no category for “stillbirth” before this. Who gets 39 weeks into a smooth pregnancy and doesn't think they're definitely going to bring home their baby?

The road we've walked the past 10 months has been horribly difficult, the hardest thing we've ever walked through in our lives.

Here are some things I'd like people to know about me during this time. Maybe it will be helpful for you as you love other women you know who are living through the loss of a child.

You can read the rest of the blog here.

You can read Molly's blog here.

Beware of Vanity Fair

Now, as I said, the way to the Celestial City lies just through this town, where this lusty fair is kept; and he that will go to the city, and yet not go through this town, "must needs go out of the world." 1 Cor. 4:10. The Prince of princes himself, when here, went through this town to his own country, and that upon a fair-day too; yea, and, as I think, it was Beelzebub, the chief lord of this fair, that invited him to buy of his vanities, yea, would have made him lord of the fair, would he but have done him reverence as he went through the town. Yea, because he was such a person of honor, Beelzebub had him from street to street, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a little time, that he might, if possible, allure that blessed One to cheapen and buy some of his vanities; but he had no mind to the merchandise, and therefore left the town, without laying out so much as one farthing upon these vanities. Matt. 4:8,9; Luke 4:5-7. This fair, therefore, is an ancient thing, of long standing, and a very great fair. [From Pilgrim's Progress (the Sixth Stage)]

As I was studying for my sermon today about persecution and evangelism I came across the following quote by Spurgeon (HT: Randall Slack) that deals with the temptations we face in a country where outright persecution for Christ does not happen. Beware of the dangers as you travel through Vanity Fair in your life. Here is the quote from Spurgeon:

"We die daily," said the apostle. This was the life of the early Christians; they went everywhere with their lives in their hands. We are not in this day called to pass through the same fearful persecutions: if we were, the Lord would give us grace to bear the test; but the tests of Christian life, at the present moment, though outwardly not so terrible, are yet more likely to overcome us than even those of the fiery age. We have to bear the sneer of the world-that is little; its blandishments, its soft words, its oily speeches, its fawning, its hypocrisy, are far worse. Our danger is lest we grow rich and become proud, lest we give ourselves up to the fashions of this present evil world, and lose our faith. Or if wealth be not the trial, worldly care is quite as mischievous. If we cannot be torn in pieces by the roaring lion, if we may be hugged to death by the bear, the devil little cares which it is, so long as he destroys our love to Christ, and our confidence in Him. I fear me that the Christian church is far more likely to lose her integrity in these soft and silken days than in those rougher times. We must be awake now, for we traverse the enchanted ground, and are most likely to fall asleep to our own undoing, unless our faith in Jesus be a reality, and our love to Jesus a vehement flame. Many in these days of easy profession are likely to prove tares, and not wheat; hypocrites with fair masks on their faces, but not the true-born children of the living God. Christian, do not think that these are times in which you can dispense with watchfulness or with holy ardour; you need these things more than ever, and may God the eternal Spirit display His omnipotence in you, that you may be able to say, in all these softer things, as well as in the rougher, "We are more than conquerors through Him that loved us."

Reflections on My Coming Vacation - Serving Molly

Lord willing, starting Monday I will be taking a 2 week vacation and here are some of my thoughts and prayers as I anticipate this time away (or at home) with my wife and kids. (HT-- C. J. Mahaney)

As the head and leader of my home I am called to lead by serving my wife for the glory of God.

Husbands are called by God to serve and lead. But we are all vulnerable to viewing the family vacation as a well-earned time away from work where we can rest and relax! But this attitude and approach to a vacation normally reveals a self-centeredness that does not please God or serve our families...

And you will know you are serving and leading effectively on your vacation when you fall into bed at night more exhausted than at the end of the most grueling day of work. The father must enter family vacations committed to serve, lead, plan, initiate, and work, and do all this with joy. This isn’t your time to rest. Only your wife deserves to rest on vacation (because no one works harder than she does the rest of the year).

But for the husband, vacations are a unique opportunity to serve and lead and work harder in some ways than he does during the normal work week. But this kind of work is a pure joy like no other work. (C. J. Mahaney)

What does this mean for me? A different mindset. I often enter my day off, or the end a long hard day, or family vacations with the mindset that I deserve to rest-- and, thank you very much-- my wife and children should want that for me just as much and probably even more that I do.

C J is right--no one works harder in my family than my wife. Not that she would like to change roles (she does not want to be a pastor and do pastoring stuff), but her job is much more exhausting than mine. I don't think this is true just because I work in an office and don't do something dirty like working under cars or in the big sheds that I can see outside my office window (who knows what they do but they get dirty and sweaty). Taking care of a house, disciplining and nurturing four children (or 3 or 2 or 1) , making meals, doing the laundry and being a pastor's wife takes a lot of work spiritual, physically and emotionally. There has been a few times when I have stayed home with all the kids for an entire day. It was fun, meaningful, crazy and exhausting and I was ready to hit the salt mines once more the next day (I also felt like I accumulated major brownie points). To experience that day in and day out requires supernatural powers. God didn't create me to be a mom, I don't have the muscles it takes but Molly does (by God's grace).

Mahaney made me think about this coming vacation differently. This needs to be a vacation primarily for Molly and not for me. How can I serve my wife these next two weeks so that she can feel refreshed and vacationed even if I am good and tired and ready to get back to the office in two weeks (It's always good to want to come back to work, right?)? I know a martyr-complex won't be good enough. For my service to be effective in actually serving my wife I have to exude authentic joy from the pours of my sweat glands. I guess I will need supernatural power this vacation. I guess this vacation will not be a success if it's a vacation away from God and my trust and reliance upon Him for strength that only He can provide. Oh, I almost forgot--this is a chance to take Christ at His Word -- "It is more blessed to give than to receive..." (Although I have received so much more than I can actually give)

Lord, grant me the grace to joyfully serve my wife this vacation in the strength that you supply so that you get the glory and we get the joy! Help me to properly display the love of Jesus to His church with my attitudes, actions and words to my bride during this summer vacation. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Good intentions do not equal follow through. Check back with me on this in a few weeks and pray!

Retirement and the Christian - Part 1

How should Christians think about "retirement"? My mid sixties seem so far away, but each year seems to go faster than the one before. Many of you are closer to "retirement" or have already entered that status. How does one think Christianly rather than culturally about the recent invention of retirement? Bob Rayburn says:

It is certainly fair to say that it is not obvious in the Bible that it is our Heavenly Father’s intention that we should work until we are 62 or 65 years of age and spend the remainder of our years touring the United States in our RV (that is, if we had a defined benefit retirement plan that has not gone bankrupt and we can afford the gasoline!).

Here is a challenging video clip by John Piper on retirement -- "DON'T WASTE YOUR RETIREMENT.

"Me Worship" and Other Satirical Videos

Having been on the topics functioning as a part of the body of Christ and becoming a suffering-servant as a disciple of Christ I thought I would share some humorous, satirical videos meant to point out our self-centeredness.


ME WORSHIP




ME WORSHIP




ME CHURCH - 2

Suffering and the Christian Life

I didn't focus on suffering as much in my sermon last week, which is an important aspect of understanding what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. Few people have done a better job in our generation teaching on the purpose and plan of suffering for the Christian than John Piper.

Here is a sermon series he preached in the early 90s called "Called to Suffer and Rejoice."
It was very impacting on my thinking about the purpose and plans of suffering in the Christian life.

When Piper was diagnosed with Prostate cancer a few years ago he wrote a helpful article called "Don't Waste Your Cancer."

Becoming a Suffering-Servant -- Sermon

Here is my sermon manuscript that I preached on Sunday, June 1st. I continued the series "Following Jesus" and preached on the topic of "Becoming a Suffering-Servant."
I looked at Mark 10:35-45 where James and John come to Jesus asked for status and privilege when He sets up the kingdom. Jesus does not categorically condemn the desire to be great, but he attacks the disciples wrong definition of greatness and redefines it in terms of humble service.

My sermon outline:

1. The Definition of Biblical Greatness -- "Serving others to the glory of God" (from Mahaney)
2. The Practice of Biblical Greatness -- Seen in Jesus and Paul -- to the extent of suffering and death
   
3. The Power of Biblical Greatness -- An eternal perspective
   

This Sunday I focused more on servitude rather than suffering.

I recommend the helpful little book that I referred to and quote by C. J. Mahaney called Humility: True Greatness.

Mahaney preached a sermon called "True Greatness" that I heard a few years ago and I highly recommend downloading.

Family Vacations -- Dads, Listen Up

Pastor Dave, Gerri and the kids started a vacation this week and they are in MI as we speak. Please pray for them as they step outside of their normal routines and spend time as a family.

For many of you, summer is the time when you take vacations because your kids are out of school. My family hopes to take a few weeks off in the middle of July. Here is some wise counsel (that I never heard before) by C. J. Mahaney to fathers and husbands on FAMILY VACATIONS.

How does this sound (wives you can pay me later):

And you will know you are serving and leading effectively on your vacation when you fall into bed at night more exhausted than at the end of the most grueling day of work. The father must enter family vacations committed to serve, lead, plan, initiate, and work, and do all this with joy. This isn’t your time to rest. Only your wife deserves to rest on vacation (because no one works harder than she does the rest of the year).

Mahaney warns families (and especially dads) to not assume that vacations will go great just because you have time off or because you are at a "relaxing" location. He challenges Christian dads to be intentional in serving their families resulting in a God-glorifying, grace-filled, relationship-building, memory-making time together.

See part 1, part 2, and part 3. Here's the outline of lessons:

1. A Servant Heart
2. A Tone-Setting Attitude
3. An Awareness of Indwelling Sin
4. Studying Your Family
5. Skillful Surprises
6. Intentionally Together
7. Gratefulness to God

By the way -- the picture is of me, my sister Janelle and my sister Katie in the middle 80s.